Sunday 21 January 2007

Christian Singles

I saw this today on the Friendsfirst website:

The views of a young Christian singleton

"I'm approaching 30 and unless I do something fast, I'm going to be single in another 30 years time and I will have left it too late. I'm a professional and actively involved in my church, but we are part of three small parishes and have a very elderly congregation and those who are young are married. I've been in church life since I was eight, went to university, taught in schools, yet I have never found someone who I feel I could develop a relationship with.

My problem is I never meet eligible Christian men. I really feel in church life I'm in a minority group. Churches are all too keen to attract young families, but what about the young people who are not married, or those who are married and no kids? I'm a reader in the church, and yet I'm not valued.

I think every church should have someone to help look after single Christians, male and female. I have a spiritual director with whom I can open up to on a very personal basis. Mentors do not have to be single to relate to us, just people we can trust, take an interest and be good listener and encouragers.

We are often the loneliest people in churches as we are the ones who are dropped when our friends get married. From being the best friend, the one with whom all confidences are shared, we are now far down the pecking order after husband, two lots of parents, extended families etc.

I would not date non-Christian men, although several of my Christian friends have set me up on blind dates. They've been nice, but we have nothing in common, on the other hand, most of the Christian men I have met in my life have been wimpy and not at all the sort you'd want to marry. I think churches need to link up with others in their cities so those of us who are single could at least develop friendships with people our own age, of both sexes."

It's good to be aware that this is the experience of some, but not all, young single Christians. Let's try to ensure that in our efforts to be 'family-friendly' we don't overlook the perspectives of singles.